My Miracle

2012-02-10T10:05:00.000-08:00

In this loooong post, I share the story of Baby's birth. It seems like a good idea to record stuff like this, since so many folks I talk to don't remember the details. Even now, I have trouble remembering some of the more minor events that occurred that day, and the days afterward are somewhat of a blur...

Act I: Prelude

At our 20-week anatomy scan, Husband and I were told that Baby was measuring small. We would have to return for another ultrasound at 24 weeks. At the following ultrasound, he still measured small...only 8th percentile. It was recommended that we see a high risk specialist. The specialist could not tell why Baby was so small, and he ordered weekly NSTs and ultrasounds for the duration of my pregnancy. When Baby still measured small at the end of my 36th week, it was decided that I ought to deliver at 37 weeks. If Baby couldn't get the nutrition he needed to grow at the proper rate on the inside, he could be given extra nutrition and grow grow grow on the outside.

The evening of October 24, we checked in to the birth center adjacent to our local hospital. I was given an IV, and around 10:00pm, because I was unfavorable for induction, a foley catheter was inserted. I was aware that this procedure would be performed in order to manually dilate me to approximately 4cm. The notion sounded rather uncomfortable, but no amount of "googling" could dismiss my anxiety. Does the foley bulb hurt? Yes. It hurts, but only for a minute or two. Once inflated, the discomfort begins to wane, and after a few minutes, the foley is not noticeable. I was given a safe medication to help me sleep and told that I would be given Pitocin in the morning.

Act II: Induction

I awoke around 6:00am to the sound of the nurse hanging a bag of Pitocin on my IV stand. She told me that I should try to continue resting and sleep if I could. I tried, but the excitement and anticipation made it impossible for me even to dose off for even one moment. The obstetrician came in around 8:00am to check on the progress of the foley catheter. It was easy to remove, meaning that I had reached the desired dilation of 4cm. She double checked my dilation, simultaneously breaking my water:

Talking to Husband and not paying attention, I suddenly noticed a warm sensation. I stared at the doctor as I began to understand what had happened. "My water broke?" I asked, voice trembling with anxiety and slight annoyance. Yes. It had. My perceived 'cushion' against what would be super-intense Pitocin-induced contractions was gone! I tried to veil my frustration. Husband and I had been hoping for as intervention-free a birth as possible. I very much wanted my water to break spontaneously. It was too late!

I spent the next hour or so sitting in bed, watching the nearby monitor recording Baby's heartbeat. I was so excited that I would be meeting him soon that my frustration with the doctor quickly vanished. Around 9:00am, my mom and Husband's mom arrived, bringing in breakfast for themselves and him. I was restricted to water, of course, in case a cesarean was later required. This did not bother me, however. I wasn't even the slightest big hungry. I was going to meet my baby, and that was all that mattered!

Within about 1/2 hour of their arrival, the Pitocin that had been coursing through my veins for several hours began to take effect. The pain was intense right from the start, and it gave me this light-headed feeling. Whew. I had been sitting on the exercise ball the hospital provided, but decided to move back to the bed and asked our guests to return to the waiting area. The contractions came and went all too frequently, and I endured them until approximately 11:00am. By that time, the contractions were so close together that I could not take a breath in between them, and the pain was so intense that my whole body was shaking. Husband and I had brought all sorts of 'props' to help relieve the pain. We had tennis balls for back massage, a rice sock, sour hard candies, music, and more. I didn't want any of them. I knew that I had reached my pain threshold and needed an epidural.

The nurse helped me sit sideways on my bed. She had me focus my body's shaking into my right leg, so that I could keep my torso still for the anesthesiologist. I looked into her eyes, and together we took long deep breaths. I barely felt the prick of the needle, and the next thing I knew, I was sitting back in bed and losing feeling in my lower stomach and legs. Only my left leg went completely numb. The right leg was certainly numb - I couldn't move it - but I still had some feeling down in my toes.

At noon I was still dilated to only 5cm. Husband and I chatted and watched Food Network (not a good idea when you aren't allowed to eat), and we occasionally commented on the enormous contractions popping up on the nearby monitor. Some time in the afternoon, I began to feel my contractions in the top part of my stomach. They were quite painful, and though I considered allowing the epidural to wear off, I requested a booster. It was far too tempting since the epidural had already been placed.

At the doctor's next visit, 5:00pm, I still measured only 5cm, but was receiving the maximum safe dose of Pitocin. She left, hoping that I might progress more before her next visit. When she returned at 9:00pm, I had progressed to only 5 1/2cm, "6," she said, "if I'm being generous." I had labored for a long time with almost no progress whatsoever, so the doctor told me that she would return in just 2 hours. If I had not made significant progress by then, she would recommend cesarean section.

Act III: The Main Event

Cesarian section! No way! I wanted the most intervention-free birth possible, and that was the final and most intrusive intervention. Of course, if it were necessary, I wouldn't blink before saying yes. Baby was far more important than what I wanted for the experience. Duh.

Anyway, I very much wanted to avoid a cesarean. I started praying, invoking the intercession of every saint whose name I could remember. Husband texted my mom and mother-in-law, and they started praying too. When the doctor left the room, the nurse sat me upright. Immediately I felt the need to push, but I wrote it off, thinking that I must just need to use the restroom. It was way too soon. After all, when I mentioned the sensation to the nurse, she too wrote it off.

That urge to...er...'use the restroom' remained on the forefront of my mind for the next two hours. I still remember that slight tension, the holding back, and the wondering, "could this be it? No way. I'm only at 5 1/2cm!" But when the nurse came in, preceding the doctor, at 11:00pm, she was surprised to discover that I was complete! The doctor hurried in and confirmed that I was indeed dilated to 10cm! It was rather unexpected, and she was shocked. She fully expected to be scrubbing in for my cesarean within the next few minutes.

The doctor went to see another patient while I was instructed to practice pushing with the nurse. The nurse would call the doctor when I was ready to push effectively. I pushed with a few contractions, and felt Baby move down. It was so easy, and my pushing was so effective (and baby was so small) that he was going to be born before the doctor's return. The nurse called the doctor twice, indicating in urgency with which she should come. The doctor walked in, I pushed twice, and Baby was born!

Postlude

Baby arrived all wrapped up in his cord. The doctor turned his little body left and right, up and down, unwinding him. It was wrapped around his chest, around his arms, under his leg - everywhere. She handed him to me and for the first time I held my tiny miracle. He was amazing. The most beautiful thing I've ever seen.

Because he was early and small, his condition had to be quickly assessed by neonatal healthcare professionals. They took him across the room to a medical bassinet and made sure that he could breathe well on his own. They weighed and measured him and checked his blood sugar level. Our little one weighed only 5lbs, 1oz, and he was 18" long. Needing to observe him for one hour, Husband went with the healthcare professionals as they took Baby to the special care nursery. I had to be observed as well, in addition to being stitched and cleaned up.

When I arrived in my recovery room, Baby and Husband were ready to re-join me. We spent the next two days bonding as a family. Those were the happiest days of Husband's and my life. We will never forget them!

If you lasted this long, thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed our birth story!

To My Husband

2012-01-26T08:46:00.000-08:00

I would like to dedicate this blog to my partner in crime. My dear husband is supportive, helpful, loving, playful, and understanding - and at the right times too!

Pregnancy -
Husband routinely "banned" me from reading online sources of paranoia and frightening statistics. He cleaned the litter box daily. He didn't complain when night after night I woke him from peaceful slumber, tripping over the cat on my way to pee for the eight-thousandth time. He reminded me to take my vitamins, preserved my sanity with gentle encouragement when we were faced with the scare of having a small baby. He helped me through many embarrassing moments (which, for his sake, won't be listed here...yet) and coached me through the miraculous birth of our son.

Parenthood -
Husband changes all nighttime diapers. That pretty much says it all! Husband reads to Baby, sings to Baby, carries Baby around to soothe his fussy bouts. Husband holds baby while I eat dinner and teaches him how to take a bottle (still working on that one). He sits in the back seat of the car when we go out and entertains Baby in the carseat. He has exhausted all possible rhymes for the "Hush Little Baby" song, and he patiently tolerates the many noise-making toys that I insist on buying for Baby. He helps bathe Baby, makes dinner, folds laundry, and most of all - he still cleans the litter box.

Thank you, Husband, for everything! This blog is dedicated to you!

A Mother's Musings

My Miracle

To My Husband